My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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