You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
