So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
