Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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