ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
