I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
