elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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