It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
