fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
this will be a night to untag.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
