He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
