I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Randomize
