they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
