Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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