is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
