Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
