afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
