Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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