Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
