if you like me you must not know who I am
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
