so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
