We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Terrible idea I love it
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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