We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
