I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
