I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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