that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm sobbing to NWA
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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