I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
