i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Randomize
