we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
