He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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