put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
