You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Every concussion has its silver lining
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
