Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
