my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
