Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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