girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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