I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
