he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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