The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
