Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
