dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
