Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
