I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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