I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
