u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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