and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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