was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
