the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
