In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
