Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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