you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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